Fuck You Japan

Let’s get a few things straight. I love Japan. I love tits. I love video games. I love jerking off to hot video game related women. But the one thing I cannot abide is the mixing of these things as a form of advertisement. Latest offender: Soulcalibur V.

Maybe I’m over reacting to this sort of thing. Have I pumped cocktail wienie to Ivy’s breasts? Of course I have, though I much more prefer Tira. But the fact of the matter is this sort of ad tells us nothing except for the fact that Ivy has ginormous tits. And even more infuriating is, if you weren’t a fan of the Soulcalibur series already, would you even know that was Ivy in the first place? For all you’d know it was a fucking porno! Or Zeus forbid, a Maxim Magazine.

Rebooted fighting system? Who the fuck cares, Ivy’s tits are HUGE! Don’t you wanna buy this game, the game where the advert shows no sort of game play at all because of TITS! LOOK AT THEM TITS!

It’s disgusting and if I was working on this game I would lose my fucking mind, it’s not funny, it barely sexy, because I don’t know about you, but I love my women to be nothing but breasts, no head, fuck a woman’s face, all she needs is tits and a mouth to suck my tiny greasy dick. The breasts are there so I can cum on them after I’m finished. Wait? This is an advertisement for a game? TITS!

I’ve said many times how this shit pissed me off about Dead or Alive. They are also facing a reboot and so far the teases of the women in that game are surprisingly tasteful.

Yes, I cannot deny that it’s similar to the SCV Ivy advert, but where TITS are the prominant feature, in DOA5’s advert it’s still showing the sexiness of Kasumi but portraying her as a vulnerable character (notice the tear streaked face) and the caption “I’m  a fighter” shows that she is also strong. And this is coming from a series that had a ONE HANDED MODE WHERE YOU TOOK PICTURES OF THEM ON THE BEACH!

What do I get from Soulcalibur V’s ad? Is that they want to apeal to the lowest common denominator of gamer, that a game about souls and swords eternally retold is a bunch of horse shit and it’s insulting to me as a man.

Fuck you Soulcalibur V, and fuck whoever misogynistic bottom feeding shithead thought this was a good idea.

About Random Assault

Random Assault is a collabaration of nerds who get together every Sunday to talk about whatever they want on their show Random Assault Podcast. What makes us unique is that we bring on guests from all walks of life who are just as passonate about entertainment as we are, guests including you! Just drop us a line and we'll put you on the list of guests, it's that easy!
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3 Responses to Fuck You Japan

  1. Sully says:

    Must be really fucking worried about sales if they resorted to this shit.

  2. CancerMan says:

    But tits!

  3. mrsuitman says:

    That’s why you should play Tekken, cause it’s just old man chest.

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